[Guest blog by Rick Kuplinski, Facilitator, SMART Recovery Henderson]
One of the pursuits and passions I am exploring in my recovery is getting reacquainted with the joy of running, something I mostly abandoned as my Alcohol Use Disorder grew more severe. One of the biggest rewards so far has been how getting back on my local streets and trails as a runner is reminding me of useful habits for maintaining the progress of my recovery long after my last drink.
Perhaps you might find it useful to compare notes with me on how you keep your change process moving forward, whether you run, have run, or even if running is not your thing at all.
First, some background. As I’ve already shared, I used to run a lot. But with all that time off in addiction, and recovering from it, I had grown considerably older and fallen out of running shape. But on top of all that, I struggled with the mental aspect; a crisis of confidence you might call it. Can I do this? How difficult will it be? Can I stick with it? These struck me as similar to questions I had when contemplating whether to face my issues with alcohol. And now just like then, I had to figure out how to helpfully manage my thinking to keep my change process moving forward.
What I figured out is a way to manage the mental aspect of running by breaking every run down to four distinct phases—four phases that also describe how I think about maintaining my recovery from one day to the next. It goes like this.
Phase One--Eat your vegetables: This comes at the beginning of a run as the body and the mind must be reawakened to the prospect of sustained motion. There is always some level of discomfort, which is best dealt with by accepting it as part of the journey and embracing the idea that it can be overcome. It is a phase of going through mental checklists on things like posture, arm position and swing, foot strike, breathing, and then actively working to stick to habits that learning and practice have proven work best for me. I call it “eat your vegetables” because it may not be the favorite part of the meal, but it’s got to be done. It’s good for us. And there is no dessert without it.
Eating your vegetables also describes the beginning of each day in recovery. Waking up fully committed to recovery is not always the easiest thing or the most comfortable thing to do either. Here too I find it useful to fall back on mental checklists and daily habits that have proven effective in getting me up to speed. Bed made? Check. Sensible breakfast? Check. Morning self-care routines? Check.
Then from here comes contemplating the day ahead and thinking of things like: What is my purpose or motivation for today? What’s the general plan? What are the challenges I can anticipate and how might I navigate them? Like at the beginning of the run, it’s a routine that gets me warmed up and ready to go for another day of living life beyond addiction.
Phase Two--Enjoy the ride: The best part of running is when all systems—physical and mental—are fully engaged and forward motion feels almost effortless. It is a phase where it is easier to relax, to take in the scenery, to smile and wave to the neighbors. Some might refer to this as “being in the zone.” It is where that proverbial joy of running is experienced, and it is exhilarating to notice how the investment of every previous run is now paying its dividends. Those doubts are now answered: I can do this. Today is easier than yesterday. I am a runner!
Every day in recovery has its time to enjoy the ride. Whether new to recovery or well established in the maintenance stage of change, there are numerous times during the day to take notice how all the work we are doing yields results. It may be successfully navigating triggers that remind us of previous addictive behavior. It could be taking a pause between stimulus and response when faced with an uncomfortable situation to form helpful beliefs that lead to better choices in how we respond. It could be reducing negative emotions by practicing acceptance of ourselves, others, and life in general. It may be proudly checking items off our recovery to-do lists to reinforce that progress is being made by deliberating stepping one foot in front of the other over and over again.
Enjoying the ride reinforces that although recovery may be challenging, its rewards can be experienced and appreciated every day.
Phase Three--Get back to work: Inevitably there is a phase of the run when things aren’t going so well. A challenging hill. The weather takes a nasty turn. A mysterious pain suddenly announces itself. Keeping things together (or getting them back on track) is now going to require some adaptation to a plan that had previously been going so well. Here too, however, there is a certain joy that comes from figuring out how to adapt, improvise, and overcome. It leads to helpful reinforcement of things that have worked in the past. It also inspires curiosity and creativity to try new things when there is nothing left in the old bag of tricks.
Getting back to work in recovery is opportunity disguised as discomfort. There will be times every day when recovery is not exactly as planned. An emotional upset. The fear of missing out on something pleasurable that we still associate with addiction. An unexpected urge. It is up to us to decide whether these represent setbacks or opportunity.
I find that the best way to get back to work in recovery is found in the SMART Recovery Handbook. What is my purpose? It is there in my Hierarchy of Values. How might I rekindle motivation? By re-examining my Cost-Benefit Analysis. Is what I’m feeling an urge or just an unhelpful thought? Let’s try Disputing Unhelpful Beliefs. Which tool might get me through the roughest patch? Maybe it’s time for me to do ABC all the way through its D and E. Unfamiliar with tools or fallen out of practice in using them? Time to get myself to another SMART Recovery meeting or just spend the mere minutes it takes to reread the relevant section of the handbook.
Phase Four-Grateful reflection: Perhaps this is the phase that running has most in common with recovery. I’ve never had a day when I think back on doing either and think, That was mistake. I shouldn’t have done that today. Even if today’s effort doesn’t go into the book as a new personal best, there is always a reason to practice gratitude. Grateful for the wisdom to begin the journey. Grateful for the courage to continue. Grateful for the training effect that comes from setting and adapting to the challenges along the way, both those anticipated and those unexpected.
I find it useful to reflect on everything that went right vs. obsessing or awfulizing what didn’t. What I find is the most beneficial result of this phase is feeling the motivation to get back at it again tomorrow secure in the thought that Life is better like this. I like me better this way.
These four phases as described here might not be exactly how you think of a day in your recovery, or your latest run if that also is something you do. But I encourage you to carefully observe how you adapt your change process in response to the time, conditions, and challenges of any given day. Over time, you too might find a pattern that helps you recognize where you are, to know you’ve been there before, and to understand how best to keep things moving forward.
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Looking for more short essays on applying SMART Recovery tools? Consider Rick's book "Supercharging Your Recovery: 30 Essays on Beating Addiction with SMART Recovery" now available online.