Setting Healthy Boundaries

• Boundaries are about your needs, not about changing or controlling others.
• They create space for safety, respect, and self-care in your relationships.
• Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or behavioral. Examples:
  • Saying no to something that drains you
  • Asking for space or privacy
  • Requesting a specific behavior change

• What situations make it hard for you to set or keep boundaries?
• Do you ever feel guilty, anxious, or unsure when trying to speak up?
• Are there specific people or patterns that challenge your boundaries?

Common challenges:

• Fear of conflict or rejection
• Feeling selfish for saying no
• Not knowing how to phrase it clearly

Try this clear and respectful 3-part formula:

I feel (emotion)
When (specific behavior happens)
Can I ask you to (reasonable request)?

Example:

“I feel frustrated when plans get changed last minute. Can I ask you to let me know earlier next time?”

This approach keeps the focus on your experience and your needs, without blame or judgment.

Think of a real situation where you need to set a boundary.

Reflection prompts:

• What’s happening that doesn’t feel okay to you?
• How are you feeling when it happens?
• What would help you feel more respected or supported?

Now, fill in the formula:

I feel _______
When _______
Can I ask you to _______?

Setting boundaries gets easier with time. Try starting small. You don’t need to justify or over-explain your needs.

If someone pushes back, it doesn't mean your boundary is wrong, it means it's working.

• How did it feel to write or say your boundary out loud?
• What do you think might happen if you try this in real life?
• What’s one small boundary you can try setting this week?