Practice Self-Compassion

Recovery can bring up tough emotions such as shame, guilt, and frustration. Self-compassion helps you meet those moments with care instead of judgment.  

Self-compassion is a practice that can help ease feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and self-judgment, feelings that often show up when working to change an addictive behavior. Many people in recovery are quick to criticize themselves but slow to offer kindness. Learning to treat yourself with care can make a big difference.

One evidence-based model of self-compassion, developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, includes three key elements:

• Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment – Being supportive to yourself instead of harsh or critical
• Common humanity vs. Isolation – Remembering that struggle is part of being human
• Mindfulness vs. Over-identification – Noticing your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them

Practicing self-compassion may feel unfamiliar at first, especially if you're used to pushing yourself with blame or guilt. But like any skill, it gets easier over time. With practice, it can help you stay more present, reduce stress, and respond to setbacks with patience and resilience.

Use the worksheet to reflect on each of the three pillars below. Try jotting down small, practical ways you could put each into action. Choose one to focus on at a time, and revisit the list when things feel difficult.

Self-Kindness

Instead of judging yourself harshly, practice talking to yourself the way you might a friend.

Examples:

• Ask, “Would I say this to someone I care about?”
• Work on reducing name-calling or blaming yourself when things go wrong
• Use phrases like: “I’m doing the best I can,” or “This is hard, and I still deserve support”

Common Humanity

Remind yourself that you’re not alone, everyone struggles sometimes.

Examples:

• Attend a mutual support group meeting
• Talk with someone who understands
• Reflect on how others have faced setbacks and kept going

Mindfulness

Notice your emotions and thoughts without letting them define you.

Examples:

• Take a few deep breaths and name what you’re feeling
• Go for a walk and listen to the sounds around you
• Practice short moments of meditation or grounding

These small practices can make a big difference, especially during times of stress or self-doubt. You don’t need to get it perfect—just noticing a moment when you’re being hard on yourself is a great place to start. 

• When things go wrong, how do you usually talk to yourself? Would you speak the same way to someone you care about?
• Which pillar of self-compassion, self-kindness, common humanity, or mindfulness, feels most natural to you? Which one feels more difficult?
• Can you think of a recent moment when you could have used a little more compassion for yourself? What might you do differently next time?
• What might change if you offered yourself encouragement instead of criticism when facing setbacks?
• What’s one small self-compassion practice you could try this week?

 Use the Practice Self-Compassion worksheet to write down ways you might try each pillar in real life. Even one thoughtful action can shift the way you experience your day.