Define Your Values
(Hierarchy of Values)
Introduction
We all have values in life, and they underpin all our feelings and decisions. However, we rarely think about them explicitly. The Define Your Values tool provides a structured way to write them down and then focus on what matters most.
Why This Tool Matters
We all have values, even if we don’t always think about them. Your values are what you care about most, and they influence how you feel, what you want, and the choices you make.
It’s common for your behavior of concern to crowd out the things that matter most. This tool helps you reconnect with your values, so you can make choices that support them.
Step 1: What Matters to You?
Start by jotting down anything that feels important to you. These might include people, ideas, goals, or ways of living.
There are no wrong answers. Examples might include:
- My family
- Health
- Freedom
- Kindness
- Honesty
- Stability
- Spirituality
- Creativity
- Learning
- Helping others
Keep writing until your list feels complete.
Step 2: Narrow it Down
Look over your list. Group similar ideas together or circle the ones that stand out. Try to narrow your list to your top five values, the ones that feel most essential to who you are or want to be.
My top five values:
- ____________________________
- ____________________________
- ____________________________
- ____________________________
- ____________________________
Step 3: Connect Values to Action
If you’re like most people, you didn’t jot down your behavior of concern as one of your values. Yet, when you engage in that substance or behavior, you’re putting it ahead of the things you truly value.
Now take a look at your current behavior. Ask yourself:
- Is my behavior of concern something I truly value?
- Does it help me live out the values I just listed?
- Does it get in the way of any of them?
If the behavior of concern is taking priority, it may be pushing your values aside. That’s not about shame, it’s about awareness. Awareness creates the chance to shift your focus back to what matters.
Rethink your list…
Above your list, write your substance, behavior, or whatever you’re trying to change.
Example:
- Alcohol (or gambling, meth, pot, etc.)
- My children
- Health
- Honesty
- Stability
- Creativity
This isn’t about blaming yourself, it’s about noticing what’s getting in the way of what matters most, and using that insight to make a change.
Reflection Questions
- What surprised you about the values you listed?
- Which values feel most in conflict with your current behavior?
- What would change if you put recovery first?
- How can your values help you stay grounded during an urge or setback?