Five Questions

The Five Questions tool explores how to go about getting what you want. Sometimes it’s hard to see what you could do differently to achieve your goals. The tool provides direct questions about future wants, current actions, current feelings, alternative actions, and future feelings.  Helpful examples offer guidance along the question path.

When you're trying to make a change, it can be hard to see clearly what’s working and what’s getting in your way. These five questions help you pause, reflect, and realign your actions with your goals.

This tool is especially helpful when:

• You’re feeling stuck or uncertain
• You’ve had a setback and want to regroup
• You’re ready to refocus on what really matters to you

There are no right or wrong answers, just your honest reflections.

Take a few quiet minutes to think about a behavior or pattern you’re trying to change. Then answer the questions below. You can write your responses in a journal or use the downloadable worksheet.

1. What do I want for my future?

What kind of life do you want? What goals or values matter most right now?
Examples: To be a present parent, to feel healthy, to live with more freedom, to finish school.

2. What am I doing to get what I want?

List the actions you’re currently taking, big or small. Are they helping or hurting?
Examples: Going to support meetings, avoiding triggers, or skipping sleep, isolating, using when stressed.

3. How do I feel about what I’m doing now?

Be honest. Do your current actions feel aligned with what you want?
Examples: Frustrated, hopeful, discouraged, guilty, neutral, proud.

4. What could I do differently to help me get what I want?

Think of one or two things you could try. They don’t have to be big.
Examples: Reach out to someone, ask for help, go for a walk instead of using, write out a plan.

5. How would changing what I do, or getting what I want, make me feel?

Imagine what it might feel like to take even a small step forward.
Examples: Lighter, more in control, relieved, motivated, proud.

Putting It Together

Now compare your answers to questions 3 and 5.

• How do you feel about what you're doing now (Q3)?
• How would you feel if you made a change (Q5)?
• Can that difference help motivate you to act?
• Could the ideas from question 4 help replace the behavior you're trying to change?

Sometimes, seeing this contrast laid out clearly is enough to spark change. You don’t have to solve everything, just start with one step.

• Which of the five questions stood out to you the most?
• Did anything surprise you about your answers?
• What’s one small change you’re willing to try this week?
• How might you remind yourself of these questions in moments that matter?

Use the Five Questions worksheet to check in with yourself anytime you’re facing a big decision, recovering from a setback, or just feeling unsure about your next step.